Crimes can earn a spot in the Turf Wars Championship bout with a win over the Rockets. Arch Rival Roller Girls All-Stars take on the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz in WFTDA North Central Regional match-up.

On August 20th at the Midwest Sports Hockey Complex at Queeny Park the Turf Wars regular season will conclude as the RiverFront Crimes will take on the Dogtown Red Rockets. The opening bout of the evening will feature a WFTDA sanctioned bout between two North Central Region teams as the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz come into town to face off against your hometown Arch Rival Roller Girls.

The Arch Rival Roller Girls have enjoyed a resurgence this season going 7 - 3 as they have been climbing back up the national rankings and have secured an invite to the North Central Regional Tournament in Indianapolis October 7th-9th. In their last bout they lost to Kansas City by a score of 148 - 80. It was a tough loss, but Kansas City is quite possibly one of the ten best teams in the country. I’m sure the Arch Rival ladies will come out looking for a solid win to carry them into the regional tournament. Sioux Falls is currently 2-6 and looking to make a statement when they come to town.

For the RiverFront Crimes it is “win and your in”. The problem is that to get that win they have to beat the undefeated Dogtown Red Rockets. The Crimes blocking will be put to the test this weekend. I expect to see a healthy dose of Oodles of Brutal and Skulls McCrackin’ blocking. The Crimes have a one-two punch at Jammer with Debaucherous Prime and Short Knocks but it will be interesting to see who gets that 3rd slot in the rotation. The Saint has been light’s out for the B-Keepers in their last two bouts scoring over 110 points in each bout, but No Gus No Glory has been solid in intra-league play and it could very well be his last bout in a Crimes uniform.

The Rockets have been dominant in their three wins this season outscoring opponents by an average point spread of 51 points. The closest match was their first match of the season when they beat the South Grand Slammers by 33 points. Just last month they played the Slammers again and came away with a 148 - 87 win. The Rockets have been on a tear with a great mix of dynamic jamming by Magnum P.I.M.P., High Pains Drifter and Shanego Fett along with solid blocking led by Wrecking Bill and Zombie Jesus. The Rockets established early that they were the team to beat and they have certainly played like it all season.

At half-time of the Rockets versus Crimes bout we have a special event. It will be a battle for mastication domination as Gnat King Kill will face off against Double Excel in the first ever GateKeepers competitive eating contest. These two will be eating as many toasted ravioli as they can in a five minute time limit. These two competitors bring insane intestinal fortitude to the eating arena and when the final whistle blows one of them will be named the victor! Will it be Double Excel with his “Jaws of Steel” or will it be Gnat King Kill with his “Insatiable Hunger”. It will be a contest of epic proportions.

You can still get tickets online from Brown Paper Tickets and if you use the code BOGO at checkout you will get two tickets for the price of one ($10). The code is only good for online purchases. At the door, tickets will be $10 a piece! Doors open at 6:30pm and the first bout starts at 7:00pm.

See you at the bouts!

- Star-Spangled Hammer

Star-Spangled Hammer is the announcer for the St. Louis GateKeepers.